Week 3-MasterKey

Week 3 and things seem to be getting worse.  And I am having a challenge keeping up with my tasks in proper timing.  So of course I am beating myself up.  I am becoming more clear on the fact that my habits are running the show.  I had an opportunity to be a witness in full effect today as I heard some news today that would normally trigger me.  Even when I know it is coming, I still seem to go down the same path about feeling bad about myself and my situation.  This time, I still felt bad, but I heard myself telling myself, this is just a habit that I have created.  It doesn’t make it any easier right now.

My 15 minutes sits, I don’t feel like I have been successful in at all.  I found that doing my sits,  I would have longer periods of no thought, and then I would find myself thinking about what I need to be doing for tomorrow or any other of my many thoughts.  I don’t know if this is normal.   But right now, I am not feeling it is going well.  The concept of relaxing is so foreign to me. That is scary. I had texted my guide because I was struggling with my DMP.  I have had the biggest struggle getting into the “feeling” of it. I have not really allowed myself to feel anything but bad for as long as I can remember.  But I want to change this, so I will keep at it.

6 thoughts on “Week 3-MasterKey

  1. Joi, thank you for sharing. YES it is NORMAL: “I don’t know if this is normal.” Especially If you have never alloud yoourself to STOP and be quite. Just DO IT NOW and you will see it will get better. Learn the new habit, well do you think your FUTURE is worth it?

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s