In the past when things got rough, I would lose focus on what I really wanted. My biggest desire in this life is to know that there is a purpose for my life. I have searched for validation of my existence. All my life, I have looked for others to show me how worthy I was to be here. I can see it so clear. I needed that promotion to prove my worth. That loving relationship to show me that I was wanted and loved. The baby to show me that there is nothing wrong with me. Let’s be honest, I am looking at others at this stage in their lives and trying to figure out what they had that I didn’t have. Why did it seem so easy for them to get what they want while I am still living the same year over and over again. The Master Key Experience came to me at a time where I was really wanting to take responsibility for my life and change the course. I hit the ground running, and for weeks, I followed the exercises as prescribed. Things seemed to be looking up and moving in the direction that I hoped for. And then it came tumbling down.
I have been dealing with some water damage in my house for the last month. Apparently this damage was due to the in improperly placed gutter drain. This leak has gone unnoticed for 15 years, until there was a crack in my bedroom wall on the second floor and water damage in my kitchen pantry on the first floor. Because of the years that this has been going on, my sheet rock, studs, bedroom sub-flooring are all damaged/rotted, and mold has started growing. In my kitchen pantry, there is the presence of damaged floors, floor boards, and sheet rock, and… more mold. I am not financially in the place of taking care of this, and the insurance company denied the claim. The original contractor that was going to fix it has fallen off the face of the earth. My HOA is stepping in, but their contractors have been taking their time due to the Holidays. The increasing damage and the idea that I have mold growing in my home has consumed all the energy that I have. I have not been sleeping in my bed, and couch sleeping is starting to take a toll on my body. To me, this problem seems insurmountable. And, I have not been okay. But I am reminded that what I have been asking for all these years was the peace that surpasses all understanding. It occurs to me, this is the perfect opportunity for me to really build my strength in focusing. I can only hope that the peace that I seek is on the other side once I do this.
One day, two years ago, I had made a mistake that was a real inconvenience to myself and my client. That day, I had to be creative in finding a resolution. And once it was all said and done, I did find a really good resolution. All was good. But, I couldn’t let it go. In my mind, I kept beating myself up about it. I had a few choice words for myself and then, I started doubting all the spiritual work that I had been doing up to that point. As clear as day, I heard a voice say to me ” do you want to avoid life, or do you want to learn how to navigate life?” In that moment, I realized that my work was not all in vain. I was clear, life happens, and I want to learn to live this life and not get knocked out of my center. Fast forward, two years. I have been knocked off my already shaky center. This is just what I do. Life happens and then I am spending months and years trying to get back to a sense of normalcy. Any wonder why I keep living the same year over and over again? Last week, I decided that I was not ready to give up any more. I also realized that I need to rewire my brain and how I handle these situations. and I have the key to this. The Master Key.
This morning, a neighbor called me to discuss the updates with my house. In conversation, she shared with me that she is facing a scary situation, but she has been reading Philippians chapter 4 and that it has really been helping her maintain her center. We talked for a little while and then I asked her if she could tell me what she has been reading to help with her peace of mind, again. My neighbor begins to read for me, Philippians 3:12-14. as written in the NIV version of the bible “12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” She proceeds to tell me that she wants to read more for me. Then she goes to the verse ” 4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God,which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4:4-9 . In plain site, the law of substitution and Og Mandino’s instruction to persist is glaring at me.
It was as if our creator knew what I needed to hear. The random call, the desire to share scripture with me. The words read resonated with me because these words I had spoken many times. I have been seeking the peace of God which passes all understanding. And this morning I was reminded of that yearning. You cannot get more clear help then that. For some reason, I am feeling loved and supported by the universe, and there is no greater feeling than knowing and feeling this. I will do my part and look for the miracle that is sure to unfold. May the Peace that transcends all understanding be with you as we embark into the New Year! My Love to you all!